There are some stories that get printed and I genuinely think, ‘What’s the point in that?’

A bit like if a tabloid writes about a duck eating butter. You know those kind of stories I’m on about. A ‘slow news day’ is what we call them.

One such story was written by The Sun, (yes forgive me, but at least you don’t now need to click on it) where ex imaginary flute player, Paul Gascoigne recollects the time he “almost” signed for Kenny Dalglish but now reveals the reason why he didn’t, and it is quite bizarre, “I didn’t want to leave [Newcastle], but I had no choice.

“I spoke to Dalglish and I did not understand a word he said. So that deal went out the window.”

‘He couldn’t understand a word he said’. Amazing, disrespectful and said without a hint of irony of self awareness.

Here we are talking about a guy who’s tongue is about 3 seconds ahead of his teeth when he talks. A guy who spent a decent part of his career in Italy with Lazio (how did he understand the Italians?) and a guy who ‘didn’t know’ the connotations of imaginary flute playing in a Glasgow Derby.

But then I ask myself, ‘How was Kenny such a successful manager if players couldn’t understand him?’ With 3 English First Division titles, 1 Premier League title, 2 FA Cups, 1 league cup, 4 charity shields and and a Football League Super Cup, I can see Gascoigne’s point. But then I see all the medals the midfield misfit has amassed and I stand corrected.

Gascoigne, for all his genius as a footballer, was also a skidmark on the professional game with his well documented conduct pre and post match. He really should think twice before slating one the games true professionals and legends.

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  1. Got as far as The S*n and no further. Please don’t reference this lying Tory gutter rag in future posts.

  2. Bearing in mind that not only is Gazza a Geordie, but a seldom sober Geordie, i find it somewhat ironic that he should bring up his inability to understand a word of what another human had said. Drink up Gazza and play us a tune on your imaginary flute, it’ll all become clearer soon!

  3. I recall that Liverpool, Spurs and Manchester United were keen on signing the man child in 1988; Spurs made a deal after agreeing to buying his parents a new house. Both Kenny and Fergie dodged a bullet imo. Most overrated player of all time, badly advised, badly behaved and wrecked his own career and reputation.

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